Many parents struggle with bed time and even refer to it as “the witching hour”! Children call out for a drink of water, want yet another story, and demand more food. Parents feel frustrated and exhausted! All are delaying tactics to stave off the inevitable……..time for sleep! Parents need respite from children to re-charge their batteries and all children need their sleep. Most young children need to be in bed and asleep by 7.30pm; however young children who still have a day time sleep may still be up after this time and should be encouraged to play quietly while other siblings are trying to go to sleep.
It is really important to establish a bed time routine. Once this is established children will feel safe and calm as they know what to expect and evenings will flow smoothly. Try to be consistent as children are less likely to push boundaries and test limits if they know what to expect.
Children resist sleep for many reasons:-
- They may want more time with Mum & Dad;
- They may be over stimulated or excited from playing;
- They may have eaten sugar… ice cream, sweet biscuits or lollies;
- They may be overstimulated from watching T.V or a DVD;
- They may feel genuinely scared or frightened to be in their room.
However there are many things you can do to assist your child to settle to sleep happily. Children can be over stimulated by watching T.V. or DVDS in the afternoon and evening. Television can over-stimulate children and anything with adult themes should be avoided. In particular do not allow young children to watch the news. By eliminating television viewing from the afternoon and evening children will be more relaxed, calm & settled.
By ensuring children have low GI lunch and afternoon tea they will have more available energy to eat dinner, listen and be co-operative. Sugar laden foods such as cordial and ice cream can cause children to be “hyped” and have difficulty settling to sleep. Fear of monsters or the dark can also play havoc.
If your routine in the early evening is not working then change it! You may need to bring everything forward by 15 – 30 minutes. You may simply need to plan bath before dinner. By slightly re-vamping the routine you may have more co-operative children.
Tips for calm bedtime:-
- Establish a routine and be consistent.
- Spend time playing child centred games with your child every day.
- Avoid rough & tumble play before bed time.
- Serve low GI food for afternoon tea & dinner. Avoid watching T.V. and videos in the afternoon and evening.
- Avoid high sugar foods including cordial and ice cream(substitute with unsweetened yoghurt & fruit).
- Have a set number of stories each evening and stick to it.
For children who feel scared try this one:- Sit in the doorway without talking and read a book until your child drops off to sleep. Tell your child you will go away if they talk. This reassures your child and helps them to relax & drop off to sleep. Takes only 5 minutes, instead of an hour of calling out! This phase will pass.
Suggested Bedtime Routine for 4-7 year olds
- 3.30 Low GI Snack
- 5. 15 – 5.30 Low GI Dinner
- 6.00 Bath
- 6.45 2 Stories
- 7.00 Lights out
If children are resisting the bath it is OK. They do not have to have a bath every night. However immersion in water can calm children. Sometimes bath before dinner is a good idea.
A client called last week desperate for help with bed time. She applied some of these strategies I suggested and that day noticed a big improvement!
Circuit Breakers for babies
Humming Om……. just behind the ear on the bone. Start louder than their cry & bring your volume down. As the child softens their cry you soften your oommm. By starting louder you give them a little shock which acts a as circuit breaker. This really works!! Hold baby firmly. Body language tells the bub you are in control. By doing this, along with the ooomom you are shutting out the rest of the world, you are earthing and grounding the bub with Mum/Dad.
Ensure the room is dark and quiet.
Wrap baby hard & tight, up to 5 months. Secure tightly under sheet using rolled up wraps at each side to anchor.
Sing a song. The same song each time (not a nursery rhyme, a wiggles or play school one which will stimulate & wake up the brain) something soothing and soft. This creates a rhythm or routine for the baby. The baby will think…….. I know what to do when I hear that song; I relax & go to sleep.
Emergency essence from Australian Bush Flower Essences dabbed on temples & inside wrists will help settle. Take some yourself as you may be upset, tired, distracted and not tuned into the bub. Children will take the drops orally from two years of age but as it has a small amount of brandy in it, does not taste so good for bubs.
Change the temperature technique. Give a little shock eg hot summer night, place a cold washer on the forehead. It is a swift and a quick change. In cold weather place a warm washer.
Hot summer night walk outside, onto the balcony, garden —never underestimate the effect of nature on calming children. Talk to the dog /cat/look at the trees.
Bath any time! Water calms children.
It is vital to establish a routine as this helps children to feel safe & secure.
I appreciate that this advice will not work for all families. Many parents both work full time, returning home after 6.30pm most evenings. Others are single parents or shift workers. Whatever your situation or hours of work children will benefit from a routine. So please contact me if you need assistance with establishing a routine that works for your family.
02 9939 3732
Some children may refuse to give up the bottle because they enjoy the “comfort” it gives them. However when children are around 12 months of age parents must assist them to let go of the bottle.